There. I said it. Got that part out of the way.
But is it completely true? Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things that really bother me about quarantine. My entire family is home, which means I get zero time to myself. I can’t run to the grocery store when I forgot one thing because I’m not risking the exposure. And I have to balance not only my own job, but helping my kids with school and making sure hubby has clean masks (not just clothes) for work. And dinner and cleaning and all those other things we always need to do.
But…there are a few things I’m enjoying about quarantine.
At the end of 2019 (who else feels like that was centuries ago?), I chose a word for 2020. I always do it. I don’t always pick a word that inspires me or motivates me, but sometimes I pick a word that defines what I hope the year will be. My word for 2020 was CALM.
Why? Well, 2019 basically sucked for us. A lot of things happened in our personal lives that made everything tough. Nothing was major, but it was never-ending and annoying. At least weekly, I was asking WTF, and usually I was wondering why people can’t just do their one job. By the end of the year, I was exhausted and told myself if we could get through March, everything would be better.
My first three books would be out.
Our house would be done and we would be moved.
The weather would improve and we could get outside a little.
Well, we all know what happened then. And unfortunately, I’m still asking WTF on a regular basis. Like when my mail stopped being forwarded two weeks after we moved and was returned with a sticker saying our former address was vacant. Well, yes, but that’s the whole damn point of filing a forwarding address.
Or when one of my brand new appliances won’t work but I can’t get the service people from the place I bought it to come out because it’s not essential.
Or when a bird built a nest in part of my house that isn’t finished.
And then another one built a nest in another part.
Trust me, WTF is nice most days.
But through all of it, I’ve slowed down. I’m not driving my kids to activities 4 days per week. I’m not rushing to get dinner on the table so we can go out. We’re not yelling at the kids to eat faster because we have to go.
I don’t know that I would say things are calm, but things are definitely less frantic right now. My kids have left the house a handful of times in the last two months. We take walks as often as the weather allows. And when we miss a soccer or gymnastics practice, we don’t worry about it.
Things have changed. I know I’m lucky because my family is healthy and safe. We have what we need. We’re okay. And I’m trying to remember that I asked for calm, and as I sit in my office and wonder what normal is going to look like, I can do it without a bra on, because I don’t have to leave the house today. Maybe that’s enough calm for me for right now.
