Every single day we make choices. Sometimes those choices are good. Sometimes we regret them. And sometimes the choice is painful.
I am a people pleaser. I go out of my way to make sure the people around me are content. I ignore my own needs and wants and do things that I might not want to do because I want to make sure others like me.
I hate it.
I want to have the guts to tell someone I’m not interested in what they want. I want to tell someone I don’t agree with them. I want to tell someone I just don’t feel like it when I don’t have an excuse to say no.
And I want to tell people they’re wrong when they think they’re right.
Over the last few weeks, my country has been in an even bigger upheaval than during the pandemic. People are hurt and angry. People are standing up for themselves and speaking out. People are scared. And all of it is because people like me haven’t stood up enough.
I’m done sitting back and doing what I can to not rock the boat.
Over the last few years, I’ve been making more of an effort to bring a diverse cast of characters to my books. It’s my outward example to the world of who I am and what I stand for. People all deserve love, and romance, and really good sex. And between the pages of my books, I give them that. Out in the real world, it’s been a different story.
People are killed without cause. People are judged without reason. People are found guilty before they have a chance to prove their innocence.
But not all people. Black people.
We can all do better. We should all do better. I’m talking to my kids about what is happening and helping them to see the reality of the situation – that there are horrible people everywhere and we need to stand up when we see them doing something wrong. I’m trying to teach them to see their own white privilege. I’m trying to teach them to recognize micro-aggressions and racism. And while I’m teaching my children, I’m learning with them.
I’m not perfect. I never will be. I am okay with that because it means I will never stop learning. None of us can stop learning and trying and doing better. We owe it to our friends and kids and grandkids to do better. Because one day, I won’t be here. One day, they’ll be teaching their own kids. And I really hope they can focus on teaching them how to do math instead of how to treat people. Because we should all know better. We should all do better. Right now.