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MARY E THOMPSON

it's a curvy road to happily ever after

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Advice

Q&A Sunday: Writing Advice

June 18, 2017 by Mary

This is going to be a long answer! I apologize in advance, but if you’ve ever thought about writing a book, you’re going to love this question from Rachelle!

What valuable advice would you give to a writer starting out?

There is a ton of advice out there. You could read all day and all night and never get through all the advice offered to new writers. Some things you’ll do right, some things you’ll mess up. Some things will be a try and see experiment. Some you’ll figure out off the bat. But my advice is here…

Read, read, and read some more.

Every writer should be a reader. Read books in the genre you want to write in. Dissect these books. How do they work. Read good ones and bad ones and compare them. What makes one better than another? What ‘rules’ are there in each? What rules can be broken and which ones are unbreakable?

In romance, the only hard and fast rule, for me, is that the has to be a HEA, or happily ever after. There should be an ending that leaves you with that warm and fuzzy feeling. Sometimes it’s characters saying I love you, sometimes it’s a wedding or proposal, sometimes it’s just a commitment. But there’s always something that makes you feel like the couple is going to be together.

Find the rules for your genre, and stick to them.

Study everything you can about writing.

Follow writer blogs. Join writer groups. Make writer friends. Immerse yourself in the world of writers. Read books about the craft of writing. Then go back and read more books in your genre and analyze how they fit the guidelines. You will start to learn more about what rules can be broken, and how to break them and make the story better.

Start to build your following.

I know, you think it’s crazy. You don’t have a book out yet. It’s hard to promote nothing, right? But you will one day. Create your pen name, reserve your web presence, and hold pages and accounts on any social media sites you might want to join. Before you have a story out, you can publish a blog and engage with people. Get to know potential readers. Some authors find an agent or editor through social media also. Don’t discount making connections. And if you already have a following, your first book will earn sales, which is always the goal!

Remember to be true to yourself.

I think this was the hardest lesson for me to learn. When you’re starting out, you want to follow all the advice out there. You want to be on every social media site. You want to run massive launch campaigns. You want to guest blog and do book tours and Facebook parties.

And then you’ll wonder when the hell you’re going to write a book.

You won’t be able to do it all. At least, not if you plan to sleep and have a life. Pick and choose what makes the most sense for you. Pick one social media site to build and when that becomes almost automatic, add a second. Or skip social media altogether if you hate it. Publish a blog, or don’t if it doesn’t speak to you. Write six books a year, or two if that’s all you can do.

This is your career. Not someone else’s. Don’t compare yourself to another writer and think you should be doing everything she’s doing. Do what makes sense for you. Be true to you, and enjoy it. 

Thanks so much, Rachelle, for your question! If you have a question, send me an email (mary (at) maryethompson (dot) com) with Q&A in the subject, or post it in the comments below, and I’ll answer your question right here on the blog!

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Filed Under: Writer Words Tagged With: Advice

Q&A Sunday: My Younger Self

October 30, 2016 by Mary

As always, you guys come up with some pretty amazing questions. This one from Vicki was enough to bring tears to my eyes…

If you could travel back in time and visit your younger self, what message would you give yourself?

I don’t like having regrets. I made my choices in life and I can’t change the past, so there’s no use regretting it. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t things I wished I’d done differently.

I stayed in a job I hated for years because I couldn’t see a way out.
I started a new career I wasn’t positive about because I listened to the advice of others.
I didn’t take care of myself when I was younger because there was no immediate threat to my health.

The list goes on. And on. And on.

engagment-party-mary-and-alex-2_1024But if I could go back (that’s me and hubby at our engagement party over 13 years ago), I’m not sure I would change anything. Everything in my life has brought me to where I am, and I love my life. Yes, there are things I’d like to change today, but changing my past would mean I’d change my present, and I can’t complain too much.

What message would I give myself though? That’s easy.

Live every day with love.

What do I mean by that? That’s a little harder.

There are a lot of different kinds of love. If we all live our lives with love, the world will be a better place.

Love yourself, for me, means taking care of myself but also accepting myself and loving me for my imperfections as much as my perfections.

Love others means caring about the people around you. Your family and friends, of course, but also the people you don’t know. For me, that means yelling at my kids less and forgiving that jerk on the road who cut me off (instead of swearing at them!).

I’m fortunate that I love my job, but I spend too many years in a job that was destroying me. When I was fired, three months before I intended to quit, it hurt, but it set me free. I know I wouldn’t have actually left on my own. I would have been too scared. I’m very lucky to have a job that makes me happy.

Loving God, because I’m Catholic and God is an important part of my life, means accepting when He tells me no and listening to His guidance. I’ve struggled at times with my career and my religion being at odds, but I honestly feel God has told me I’m in the right place. I love that I have His support, and I try to thank Him for that on a regular basis!

There’s a lot of violence and hatred in the world right now. I do my best not to bring it home with me, but I know I’m not nearly perfect. Focusing on love every day makes my life so much happier and I know would have made it easier at times too. Hopefully I can listen to my advice going forward, even if I can’t actually go back!

Thanks so much, Vicki, for your question! If you have a question, send me an email (mary (at) maryethompson (dot) com) with Q&A in the subject, or post it in the comments below, and I’ll answer your question right here on the blog!

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Filed Under: Writer Words Tagged With: Advice, My Younger Self

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He was the one that got away. Ran away really. But He was the one that got away. Ran away really. But he came back. Almost twenty years later. With a teenager. Wanting another chance. 

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Ten people were taken from my city over the weeken Ten people were taken from my city over the weekend. Ten people who did nothing wrong. The person who took their lives was filled was hate and took it out on innocent people. #BuffaloNY is the City of Good Neighbors. I didn't know those ten people, but I feel their loss like the rest of my city does. We are all neighbors, and we all hurting. 

My thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of Aaron Salter, Ruth Whitfield, Pearl Young, Celestine Chaney, Roberta Drury, Heyward Patterson, Margus Morrison, Andre Mackneil, Geraldine Talley, and Katherine Massey; and with the survivors: Zaire Goodman, Jennifer Warrington, and Christopher Braden.
Dating your ex in a small town means everyone know Dating your ex in a small town means everyone knowing your business. Like the fact that he broke your heart. They should all be on my side, right? Too bad he’s bringing an old town hangout back to life. And getting everyone involved. And making all of us fall in love with him. 

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