You know the song. Breaking up is hard to do. There’s a reason so many songs out there talk about it. A relationship ending is never easy. Most of the time, no matter which side of the break-up you’re on, it’s hard. But it’s not impossible to get through it, and be stronger for it.
Let Yourself Wallow
You’re not likely to start off a break-up in a great mood, ready to start over. You’re upset, depressed even. Well meaning friends and family will tell you to shake it off and get back out there. That’s not always what you need. You’re grieving the relationship. Let yourself grieve. Cry, yell, punch a pillow, burn his stuff (think Clueless, not Waiting To Exhale). Okay, maybe burning his shit isn’t a good idea, but you need to let yourself accept that it sucks.
Pull Up Your Big Girl Panties
Ready for some tough love? At some point, you need to get over it. It’s not going to happen overnight. It might not happen this month or this year. If you’ve been with this person for a long time, you need time to adjust to the new normal without them. Now I’m not talking about a spouse who passed. That’s something a person might not ever get over. I’m talking about a break-up. When you or him decided things weren’t working. If you’re not the one who said enough, it takes a while to get over that pain. But when that pain turns to anger and you forget how much you loved him, it’s time to pull up your big girl panties and move on.
If you’ve been wallowing, chances are you need to get outside a bit. Get out of your house, get out of your head. Call a friend and go for a walk. Grab your bike and go for a ride. If you’re up to it, go out dancing and flirt with cute men. Whatever you do, change your scenery for a while and regroup. You can’t sit around forever and wonder what happened and why. You need to be ready, but when you are, get the hell out and have some fun.
Kiss A Stranger
I know, I know. You think I’ve lost my mind. But when’s the last time you kissed a stranger? Or someone new? They say the best way to get over one person is to get under another one. Sleeping with a stranger might be going too far (that’s your call), but kissing one sounds damn good! Try it out. If nothing else, it’ll make you feel sexy and wanted, which is nice after a break-up!
Give Yourself A Break
You’re going to have set backs. You’re going to have days when you want to call him. You’re going to have days where all you want to do is cry. It’s okay. Let yourself be upset. It’s okay to get mad at him again or regret your decision to end things. You’ve gotten this far, though. Don’t give in. Stay strong because you’ve come this far and you deserve to move on.
A break-up isn’t easy. It never will be. But treat yourself the way you’d treat your best friend – with a little understanding, a heaping of compassion, and a kick in the ass when needed.
What’s the best way to move on from a break-up?
Heartbroken didn’t begin to describe her. She never thought she’d love again. Then she met him, and she knew she’d never really loved at all.