Over the last few weeks, everyone has been talking about the end of the year and the end of the decade. There have been countless workshops and posts and ideas and thoughts about making the next decade the best one yet. It’s kind of terrifying.

Ten years ago, I was pregnant with my second child. I was unhappy at my job. I was disconnected from friends and family because I didn’t live close to them. There were a lot of things I didn’t love. But in some ways, life was easier then.

I’ve realized the only way we will ever make our dreams come true is to work hard for it. Obvious, yes. I know. But I’ve decided my new mantra is no one is going to make my dreams come true for me. Because no one else cares about my dreams. They care about their own. And they should. We should all care about our own dreams. About making our own dreams come true.

Can you imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could make our dreams come true? People would be doing things they love, living lives they loved, and spending time the way they loved.

I turn 40 in 2020, and I’ve decided I’m going to work on doing some things I’ve always wanted to do. Some are bigger than others, but mostly, it’s little things, like paying for someone behind me in the drive-thru or leaving a 100% tip or building something by myself. Some are bigger, like being able to run for five minutes straight or doing something that scares me or registering for cooking classes with my hubby.

Every item on my 40 by 40 list will help me get something I want. Because no one else is going to make my dreams come true for me.

What are you going to do in 2020?

What if your book boyfriend actually existed?

I liked safe. Safe was easy. Safe was safe. Ian was not safe. Nothing about him was safe. Not the way he looked at me or the way he touched me or the way he made me feel. But through all of it, he somehow found a way to make me feel safe. Like loving him wasn’t going to destroy me.

But it did.

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