Mary E Thompson

it's a curvy road to happily ever after

Writer Words

Stand Up

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Every single day we make choices. Sometimes those choices are good. Sometimes we regret them. And sometimes the choice is painful.

I am a people pleaser. I go out of my way to make sure the people around me are content. I ignore my own needs and wants and do things that I might not want to do because I want to make sure others like me.

I hate it.

I want to have the guts to tell someone I’m not interested in what they want. I want to tell someone I don’t agree with them. I want to tell someone I just don’t feel like it when I don’t have an excuse to say no.

And I want to tell people they’re wrong when they think they’re right.

Over the last few weeks, my country has been in an even bigger upheaval than during the pandemic. People are hurt and angry. People are standing up for themselves and speaking out. People are scared. And all of it is because people like me haven’t stood up enough.

I’m done sitting back and doing what I can to not rock the boat.

Over the last few years, I’ve been making more of an effort to bring a diverse cast of characters to my books. It’s my outward example to the world of who I am and what I stand for. People all deserve love, and romance, and really good sex. And between the pages of my books, I give them that. Out in the real world, it’s been a different story.

People are killed without cause. People are judged without reason. People are found guilty before they have a chance to prove their innocence.

But not all people. Black people.

We can all do better. We should all do better. I’m talking to my kids about what is happening and helping them to see the reality of the situation – that there are horrible people everywhere and we need to stand up when we see them doing something wrong. I’m trying to teach them to see their own white privilege. I’m trying to teach them to recognize micro-aggressions and racism. And while I’m teaching my children, I’m learning with them.

I’m not perfect. I never will be. I am okay with that because it means I will never stop learning. None of us can stop learning and trying and doing better. We owe it to our friends and kids and grandkids to do better. Because one day, I won’t be here. One day, they’ll be teaching their own kids. And I really hope they can focus on teaching them how to do math instead of how to treat people. Because we should all know better. We should all do better. Right now.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Quarantine sucks

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There. I said it. Got that part out of the way.

But is it completely true? Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things that really bother me about quarantine. My entire family is home, which means I get zero time to myself. I can’t run to the grocery store when I forgot one thing because I’m not risking the exposure. And I have to balance not only my own job, but helping my kids with school and making sure hubby has clean masks (not just clothes) for work. And dinner and cleaning and all those other things we always need to do.

But…there are a few things I’m enjoying about quarantine.

At the end of 2019 (who else feels like that was centuries ago?), I chose a word for 2020. I always do it. I don’t always pick a word that inspires me or motivates me, but sometimes I pick a word that defines what I hope the year will be. My word for 2020 was CALM.

Why? Well, 2019 basically sucked for us. A lot of things happened in our personal lives that made everything tough. Nothing was major, but it was never-ending and annoying. At least weekly, I was asking WTF, and usually I was wondering why people can’t just do their one job. By the end of the year, I was exhausted and told myself if we could get through March, everything would be better.

My first three books would be out.
Our house would be done and we would be moved.
The weather would improve and we could get outside a little.

Well, we all know what happened then. And unfortunately, I’m still asking WTF on a regular basis. Like when my mail stopped being forwarded two weeks after we moved and was returned with a sticker saying our former address was vacant. Well, yes, but that’s the whole damn point of filing a forwarding address.

Or when one of my brand new appliances won’t work but I can’t get the service people from the place I bought it to come out because it’s not essential.

Or when a bird built a nest in part of my house that isn’t finished.

And then another one built a nest in another part.

Trust me, WTF is nice most days.

But through all of it, I’ve slowed down. I’m not driving my kids to activities 4 days per week. I’m not rushing to get dinner on the table so we can go out. We’re not yelling at the kids to eat faster because we have to go.

I don’t know that I would say things are calm, but things are definitely less frantic right now. My kids have left the house a handful of times in the last two months. We take walks as often as the weather allows. And when we miss a soccer or gymnastics practice, we don’t worry about it.

Things have changed. I know I’m lucky because my family is healthy and safe. We have what we need. We’re okay. And I’m trying to remember that I asked for calm, and as I sit in my office and wonder what normal is going to look like, I can do it without a bra on, because I don’t have to leave the house today. Maybe that’s enough calm for me for right now.

Loving Others

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The news of the devastating fires in Australia have broken my heart. The uplifting videos of people helping and the multitude of people giving back have been so encouraging, but I find myself unable to sit back and do nothing.

I announced this on Facebook over the weekend, but just in case you missed it, I wanted to share here, too. All profits from the sale of His Curvy Friend for January (which includes all preorders) will be donated to Australia.

I’m looking into options for a charity that will help, and I will announce which one as soon as I’ve decided. My donation will be a small way for me to help out people and a country that has been hurting. The countless lives lost (animals and humans) and the destruction are horrible. I thank you for helping me support others.

If you haven’t picked up His Curvy Friend yet, it’s only $0.99. Grab your copy today and help me give back. Thank you!

Getting dumped sucked. Getting dumped because he thought I was in love with my best friend’s older brother was ludicrous. I did not have a thing for Ian. Yeah, we shared a hotel room when we went to Hawaii, but nothing happened. I mean, I walked in on him right after he got out of the shower.

Water running down his chest.

Hair slicked back from his face.

That stormy look in his eyes.

And the rock, hard…

Ahem, anyway. No, I did not have a thing for him. We were friends. That was it. No one needed to know I still dreamed about what would have happened if I’d closed that door with me on the inside instead of the outside. It was never going to happen.

Ever.

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Happy Easter weekend

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I’m taking a break from my regular posting today so I can be with my family. My kids are off school and even hubby is home! We’re taking it easy and getting ready for Easter Sunday – stuffing eggs for our Easter Egg Hunt and helping my family get food ready. Oh, and I’m sleeping in!

I saw this picture and had to share it because this is what I fully expected our Easter Egg Hunt to look like!

Thankfully we’ve had a few nice days and I think we’ll be snow free for Sunday.

Happy Easter!

No More March (almost)

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I know I’m a week early updating you about my goals, but since next Friday is Good Friday, I’m taking that day off. So I decided to push my update a week earlier than usual. I’m trying here!

I’m making a few changes to my goals. Not because they aren’t important, but because I realized last month that so many of them are basically the same thing. I’m consolidating and changing things. Bear with me!

  1. Publish 6 novels and 3 boxed sets
    I’m feeling good about this one. I have two books and one boxed set done. I’m on track with where I wanted to be at this point, so I consider this a win for right now.
  2. Pay off debt, Stick to a Budget, and Save
    I’m combining this with what I had for goals 6 and 7 because they all tie in together. If we stick to our budget, we can save more money and pay off our debt. Yes, they’re all a little different, but they’re all tied closely together so I’m linking them. As for progress, I’m happy with it. We still have work to do with the budget, but we should pay off a debt next month that has me really excited. We’re in a good spot to start saving more after that debt is paid, so I’m happy. Very happy!
  3. Eat, exercise, and lose weight
    I’m happy to say I’ve stuck to twice a week going to the gym this month. I think I missed one day last week, but other than that, I’ve done well. For April I’m going to push myself to exercise three times per week. I still need to make some changes to my diet, but I feel better getting in some exercise. Don’t ask about the scale. I don’t like getting on them, and you can’t make me!
  4. Publish audiobooks and app
    Yeah, I still suck with these two. That’s okay. I’m investigating and thinking and will make decisions about both in the second quarter.
  5. Develop 3 workshops
    The workshop I’ve been working on isn’t done yet, but it will be next week. I want to expand the other one I taught a few months ago, but that’s not a big priority right now. I’ll get to that.
  6. Implement Advertising Plan
    I added this one this month to make up for the one I moved up. This supports my overall goal to reach new readers. I’ve never run ads before, but I’ve taken a few classes about how they work and will be starting to run some in the second quarter. I’m actually excited about this, and that’s unusual for me when it comes to putting myself out there more!
  7. Guest Post on Major Site
    This is something I’ve been dreaming about for a while. Getting my name in front of thousands of new people. Having an article out there in the world. I haven’t started looking into places I’d like to publish an article, but I’m thinking about it. We all have a unique story to tell. I want to believe I have experiences and opinions that could help others. One day I’ll share pieces of it with the world!

I have to say this month was a success. Yes, like before, there are things I haven’t done, but the things I wanted to do this quarter are mostly accomplished. I still have a week left to get a few more things done, but I think I’m in good shape for the year. I will be pushing myself on some of these next quarter (like exercising more), but I need it!

How are you doing on your goals so far?

Q&A Friday: Inspiration

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Inspiration comes in the most interesting places. Where the idea for every book comes from always amazes me. It’s one of the things most people want to know…

Where does your inspiration come from?

I love when a new idea hits me. It’s like something I was missing just appeared in front of me. Sometimes I’ve been trying to think of something, an idea or a path, and it hits me from out of nowhere. Other times I didn’t know I was looking for an idea when one comes.

What do you do when you lose something? Your keys or your phone or something that you need? I always retrace my steps. Think back to where I was when I last saw what I’m looking for. Maybe I’ll ask my husband or kids.

If I’m stuck and looking for a path, I do exactly that. I read through the manuscript to where I’m stuck. I go back to reference books to find inspiration. I remind myself why I write, why I love it, why I keep going.

When the inspiration I was looking for jumps out at me, I nearly slap my forehead because it always seems so obvious. Sort of like when you find your keys exactly where you always put them instead of where you thought you put them.

What about those things you stopped looking for because you had no clue where they were. A gift card you were sure you got for your birthday but thought you must have spent it since you couldn’t find it when you looked. Or your favorite bottle of wine that isn’t at the liquor store anymore so you thought they stopped making it. Or those heels you loaned to a friend and never got back and forgot about.

When those things appear again, that’s how the other kind of inspiration is. A nice surprise that you weren’t expecting. The gift card shows up in the bottom of your purse. A friend comes over for dinner and brings the wine you haven’t found for months. Your favorite heels are sitting in a suitcase when you open it to pack for a trip.

There’s always a spark, though. Something that sets it off. A line from a song. A scene on a TV show. A person in a crowd. Even a word. Inspiration is all around us. When I’m open to it (and I’m not always, I’ll be honest), then it’s easy to pick up on.

Have you ever looked for something and been surprised where it showed up?