Bulky & Beauteous will be out in a week! I’m so excited that it’s finally here. It was a really hard book for me to write since I was writing it throughout my whole treatment, but it’s done and it’s finally ready for you to read it, or at least a little bit of it. In a week you can read the whole thing!

Excerpt from Bulky & Beauteous

A first kiss was such a simple thing. So basic. So ordinary. Memories of my first kiss were burned into my brain. The awkwardness. The strange feeling. The confusion. Why did anyone enjoy kissing? I wondered at a young age.

But when you’re tucked back off a dirt path, behind the baseball field, doing something few of your friends had done, it was weird. I can still see him coming toward me, his mouth and arms open, ready to embrace me. When our lips collided there wasn’t anything gentle or sensual about it. Two thirteen year olds didn’t know how to kiss, even if one had done it before.

At 29, a first kiss was different. We were older. We knew what we were doing. The awkwardness was still there, but I knew what to expect from kissing. I knew how wonderful it could be. I knew what a good kiss was, and I was fairly certain I could deliver on my end.

Even with all that knowledge, nothing could prepare me for the first brush of Joey’s lips across mine. That first touch was like being struck by lightning. A spark, which I tried to pass off as a product of the dry air, ignited between us. I gasped, my lips parting ever so slightly, but enough for his tongue to dip into the gap. I felt the softness of him against the inside of my lips and was immediately hungry for more. My mouth fell open, welcoming him inside.

He didn’t hesitate. Confidence poured from him, drawing me in and making me wish I was the person I pretended to be with him. I craved that self assurance, that ability to know exactly who I was.

Then his tongue swept through my mouth and I didn’t care anymore. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him. I was a whole new Addi with him. And I was going to enjoy it.

A rumble erupted from deep within me, matched by one from him. His fingers tightened in my hair, tugging me to him. Our bodies pressed together, the thickness of our layers preventing me from feeling everything I wanted to feel. I shook my gloves free, frustrated at how long it was taking me to get them off. The bite of the cold air took me by surprise and made me sigh with contentment. Finally, I could feel him.

My hand speared under his hat, digging into his unruly brown hair. I pulled him tighter against me, aching to feel him. He spun us and leaned me against a thick tree trunk. His body rubbed against mine, his hardness evident through his ski pants. My mouth watered and my core burned at the thought. Damn, if he was that big through layers I could only imagine what it would be like if I stripped him down.

My hands didn’t get the message. As if they had a mind of their own, my fingers stroked him through his pants, outlining the ridge of his erection. A groan tore from his throat and his hips thrust into me. His mouth slipped from mine and burned a path down my neck, tucking under my scarf to nibble at my collarbone. My eyes fluttered closed again, the sensation of his lips and hands on me more than I could bear.

I couldn’t stop my hands from diving into his pants. Thankful he wasn’t wearing overalls, my cold hand met his hot skin, making him jump. I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. All I could think about was having him in my hand. When I finally made it, I wrapped my palm around his silken steel shaft, earning another thrust from him.

He growled and nipped at my neck again, rolling the tendon between his teeth. I stroked him quickly, desperate to feel him lose control. I felt beautiful, desired, powerful. With him in my hand I dropped to my knees in the snow, looking up into his eyes. The question was there, and was met with an answer. An answer that told me I had fooled one person into believing I was the new Addi. The carefree Addi. The seductress Addi.

I wasn’t the Addi who refused to get under a table for a stranger. I was brave. I was confident. I was going to kneel in the snow and give this beautiful man the best blow job of his life if it killed me.

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