Better vs. Worse

Commitment is a four letter word…

My little sister’s best friend has always been off-limits.

It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve imagined what it would be like to be with her, she doesn’t want me. She wants a clean-cut guy with a boring job who’ll sit at home and answer her every beck and call.

I know who I am, and I’m not going to change.

Sure, I’d do anything she asked, but I can’t change me. Not that she’s ever asked. She knows I’m a lost cause. Life as a surf instructor might not be stable, but it’s fun and I’m good at it.

These days I think it’s the only thing I’m good at. Because I sure as hell suck at saying no to her lately.

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Excerpt from Better vs. Worse

“Where the hell have you been? Kiana’s going nuts trying to find you.”

Ada shook her head and met my eyes. I could see the depths of her fear in them. Fears that I knew first hand. Fear that kept me in place for years.

“I needed some time to myself,” she admitted.

Her voice was different. She wasn’t the feisty Ada I knew. This Ada was worn down. Beaten and bruised.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and gave me a smile that didn’t get anywhere close to her beautiful brown eyes. Eyes I could stare into a get lost in if I let myself.

But I knew it wasn’t smart. I wasn’t educated. I wasn’t highly intelligent. I was a guy who went straight to work after I finished high school. I never had big dreams about fancy jobs or big houses or expensive stuff. A beach and a surfboard was all I ever needed.

But I didn’t need an education to know getting involved with Ada would only end with pain. Mine, not hers. She knew what she wanted from life, and it wasn’t a guy like me. It was one of those guys I’d never be. Which was why I kept my hands to my damn self even though she looked like she needed a hug.

“I’ve spent a lot of time convincing myself I needed a lot of things. I’ve been trying to figure out what I really need. The problem is, the only thing I think I really need is you.”