Mary E Thompson

it's a curvy road to happily ever after

Blog

Flaunt Your Curves

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Raise your hand if you’ve seen a curvy woman wearing a skimpy outfit and had the thought, I’d never wear that!

You know the woman I mean. The one with the soft belly and the extra bit of flab and the stretch marks. All the things that you cover up. All the things you’re ashamed of. All the things you wish you could show off.

Why the f*ck can’t you?

The first time I remember seeing a curvy mom in a bikini, I thought, she’s too big to wear that. Full truth. I hate that I thought it, but I did. A few seconds later, when I was still staring at her tiny black triangles not really holding up her breasts, and the tiny bottoms that disappeared under her belly, I thought, Well, damn. Good for her. It’s hot out here, and she’s with her significant other and kids, and she looks better than I ever would in that.

I was jealous! I hated it, but I totally was. Her kids were younger than mine, so in my messed up head, I should have lost the baby weight that she’d lost. Her belly was smaller, her boobs perkier, everything about her said she was better than me. And I was judging her for it.

It had nothing to do with her, except I wanted her confidence.

I still want her confidence.

Have you seen the new commercials for Halo Top ice cream? With the woman dancing around in her underwear eating the ice cream? I want her confidence, too. I want to let go and enjoy life. I want to wear the bikini and eat the ice cream and dance in my underwear and know that

IT

DOESN’T

MATTER

WHAT

ANYONE

ELSE

THINKS!!!

Why do we care so much? Flaunt those curves! Dance in your underwear. Eat the ice cream. And buy the damn bikini because you deserve to be exactly who you are!

Stand Up

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Every single day we make choices. Sometimes those choices are good. Sometimes we regret them. And sometimes the choice is painful.

I am a people pleaser. I go out of my way to make sure the people around me are content. I ignore my own needs and wants and do things that I might not want to do because I want to make sure others like me.

I hate it.

I want to have the guts to tell someone I’m not interested in what they want. I want to tell someone I don’t agree with them. I want to tell someone I just don’t feel like it when I don’t have an excuse to say no.

And I want to tell people they’re wrong when they think they’re right.

Over the last few weeks, my country has been in an even bigger upheaval than during the pandemic. People are hurt and angry. People are standing up for themselves and speaking out. People are scared. And all of it is because people like me haven’t stood up enough.

I’m done sitting back and doing what I can to not rock the boat.

Over the last few years, I’ve been making more of an effort to bring a diverse cast of characters to my books. It’s my outward example to the world of who I am and what I stand for. People all deserve love, and romance, and really good sex. And between the pages of my books, I give them that. Out in the real world, it’s been a different story.

People are killed without cause. People are judged without reason. People are found guilty before they have a chance to prove their innocence.

But not all people. Black people.

We can all do better. We should all do better. I’m talking to my kids about what is happening and helping them to see the reality of the situation – that there are horrible people everywhere and we need to stand up when we see them doing something wrong. I’m trying to teach them to see their own white privilege. I’m trying to teach them to recognize micro-aggressions and racism. And while I’m teaching my children, I’m learning with them.

I’m not perfect. I never will be. I am okay with that because it means I will never stop learning. None of us can stop learning and trying and doing better. We owe it to our friends and kids and grandkids to do better. Because one day, I won’t be here. One day, they’ll be teaching their own kids. And I really hope they can focus on teaching them how to do math instead of how to treat people. Because we should all know better. We should all do better. Right now.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Quarantine sucks

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There. I said it. Got that part out of the way.

But is it completely true? Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things that really bother me about quarantine. My entire family is home, which means I get zero time to myself. I can’t run to the grocery store when I forgot one thing because I’m not risking the exposure. And I have to balance not only my own job, but helping my kids with school and making sure hubby has clean masks (not just clothes) for work. And dinner and cleaning and all those other things we always need to do.

But…there are a few things I’m enjoying about quarantine.

At the end of 2019 (who else feels like that was centuries ago?), I chose a word for 2020. I always do it. I don’t always pick a word that inspires me or motivates me, but sometimes I pick a word that defines what I hope the year will be. My word for 2020 was CALM.

Why? Well, 2019 basically sucked for us. A lot of things happened in our personal lives that made everything tough. Nothing was major, but it was never-ending and annoying. At least weekly, I was asking WTF, and usually I was wondering why people can’t just do their one job. By the end of the year, I was exhausted and told myself if we could get through March, everything would be better.

My first three books would be out.
Our house would be done and we would be moved.
The weather would improve and we could get outside a little.

Well, we all know what happened then. And unfortunately, I’m still asking WTF on a regular basis. Like when my mail stopped being forwarded two weeks after we moved and was returned with a sticker saying our former address was vacant. Well, yes, but that’s the whole damn point of filing a forwarding address.

Or when one of my brand new appliances won’t work but I can’t get the service people from the place I bought it to come out because it’s not essential.

Or when a bird built a nest in part of my house that isn’t finished.

And then another one built a nest in another part.

Trust me, WTF is nice most days.

But through all of it, I’ve slowed down. I’m not driving my kids to activities 4 days per week. I’m not rushing to get dinner on the table so we can go out. We’re not yelling at the kids to eat faster because we have to go.

I don’t know that I would say things are calm, but things are definitely less frantic right now. My kids have left the house a handful of times in the last two months. We take walks as often as the weather allows. And when we miss a soccer or gymnastics practice, we don’t worry about it.

Things have changed. I know I’m lucky because my family is healthy and safe. We have what we need. We’re okay. And I’m trying to remember that I asked for calm, and as I sit in my office and wonder what normal is going to look like, I can do it without a bra on, because I don’t have to leave the house today. Maybe that’s enough calm for me for right now.

Loving Others

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The news of the devastating fires in Australia have broken my heart. The uplifting videos of people helping and the multitude of people giving back have been so encouraging, but I find myself unable to sit back and do nothing.

I announced this on Facebook over the weekend, but just in case you missed it, I wanted to share here, too. All profits from the sale of His Curvy Friend for January (which includes all preorders) will be donated to Australia.

I’m looking into options for a charity that will help, and I will announce which one as soon as I’ve decided. My donation will be a small way for me to help out people and a country that has been hurting. The countless lives lost (animals and humans) and the destruction are horrible. I thank you for helping me support others.

If you haven’t picked up His Curvy Friend yet, it’s only $0.99. Grab your copy today and help me give back. Thank you!

Getting dumped sucked. Getting dumped because he thought I was in love with my best friend’s older brother was ludicrous. I did not have a thing for Ian. Yeah, we shared a hotel room when we went to Hawaii, but nothing happened. I mean, I walked in on him right after he got out of the shower.

Water running down his chest.

Hair slicked back from his face.

That stormy look in his eyes.

And the rock, hard…

Ahem, anyway. No, I did not have a thing for him. We were friends. That was it. No one needed to know I still dreamed about what would have happened if I’d closed that door with me on the inside instead of the outside. It was never going to happen.

Ever.

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Loving Yourself

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January is always the time of year when the pressure is on to lose weight. Gyms are more crowded than any other month, people sign up for every weight loss program available, and we feel just a little more guilty for eating that extra piece of candy.

But January is just another month.

Maybe it’s because we just got through the holidays, or maybe it’s because so many people set goals that start in January, or maybe it’s because we want to do better, but it all boils down to wanting to change. There’s something we don’t love about ourselves, something that we have decided needs to change, so we make a new commitment to doing something different.

What if instead of changing our bodies we decided to change our minds and love ourselves a little more?

I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I lost a ton of weight a few years ago, but I gained it all back. I felt better, and I liked the way clothes looked, and I still want to lose the weight again, but more than that, I want to love myself.

The people I love aren’t perfect. I could pick apart little things about everyone I know and love. But I love them, so I don’t. I wish I did that about myself, and that’s one of my goals for 2020. To be kinder to myself, to love myself more, to celebrate the things my body has done for me instead of regretting the things it hasn’t.

Are you with me?

Falling for my sister’s best friend was not my best idea. But she was the kind of woman I couldn’t help but love. Everything about her made me crave more of her. And from the moment I held her in my arms, I knew I’d do whatever it took to make her mine. Even lying to her.

Available now!

Ebook on Amazon | Kobo | Apple Books | B&N | Smashwords

Google Play coming soon

Getting what we want

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Over the last few weeks, everyone has been talking about the end of the year and the end of the decade. There have been countless workshops and posts and ideas and thoughts about making the next decade the best one yet. It’s kind of terrifying.

Ten years ago, I was pregnant with my second child. I was unhappy at my job. I was disconnected from friends and family because I didn’t live close to them. There were a lot of things I didn’t love. But in some ways, life was easier then.

I’ve realized the only way we will ever make our dreams come true is to work hard for it. Obvious, yes. I know. But I’ve decided my new mantra is no one is going to make my dreams come true for me. Because no one else cares about my dreams. They care about their own. And they should. We should all care about our own dreams. About making our own dreams come true.

Can you imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could make our dreams come true? People would be doing things they love, living lives they loved, and spending time the way they loved.

I turn 40 in 2020, and I’ve decided I’m going to work on doing some things I’ve always wanted to do. Some are bigger than others, but mostly, it’s little things, like paying for someone behind me in the drive-thru or leaving a 100% tip or building something by myself. Some are bigger, like being able to run for five minutes straight or doing something that scares me or registering for cooking classes with my hubby.

Every item on my 40 by 40 list will help me get something I want. Because no one else is going to make my dreams come true for me.

What are you going to do in 2020?

What if your book boyfriend actually existed?

I liked safe. Safe was easy. Safe was safe. Ian was not safe. Nothing about him was safe. Not the way he looked at me or the way he touched me or the way he made me feel. But through all of it, he somehow found a way to make me feel safe. Like loving him wasn’t going to destroy me.

But it did.

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